Thursday, February 19, 2015

The Tale Of The First Lamp Post Cache

This story recounts the true tale of a man. A hairy man. A jolly man. A fat man (no, not *that* jolly fat man!). This man goes by the name of G. O. Cacher. He is, of course, Canadian. 

At the time this story is set he has only recently been blessed with the knowledge of obscure objects called caches; stashed in the secret places of the world. His newfound mission is to seek out these objects. He has only found a few so far, but he waits with anticipation of more adventures.

Alone he sits in the dark comfort of his living room, when such a racket that has never befallen him before rang forth, shattering the peaceful quiet of his domicile. That sound indicates the birth of a brand new container hiding in the world. That sound was a notification from Lackeys Of Groundspeak. A new geocache has been born.

Intrigued with the possibilities a brand new cache may bring, he suits up and heads out the door. Thus a new adventure begins.
The hunt leads him to the parking lot of yonder Aldi. It was quiet... too quiet. The wind blows through his hair. The search for the mystery object begins.

In a 30 foot radius he begins to spiral inwards, looking under every rock and in every tree. Success, however, would elude him. 

Perplexed he reassesses the scene. There are trees, a few rocks, and a lamp post. The trees are empty, and the upturned rocks refuse to give up their secrets. There is nothing on the post... but maybe - just maybe - the lamp post holds more secrets than it lets on. 

A closer examination reveals that not everything is as it appears. Not everything is attached. The skirt moves. 

It lifts. 

Could it be? Yes! There is the sacred object he seeks!

Elation ensues. Caches are opened. Log books are signed. Containers are replaced. Success is declared. The adventure concludes.

As time passes our hero returns to the hunt again and again. Often sparring with his old nemesis: the crafty lamp post. Time and again he defeats this foe. Each time he remembers fondly his first encounter with the lamp post, and how sweet that conquest tasted. Wearily he now lifts those lamp skirts, all the while wishing he was back at his first time, the only time, when the lamp post cache was cool.

Ok, ok, the second time was still cool too.