Sunday, July 20, 2014

The Road To Nowhere

Canada is a vast nation, and its population is relatively small.  This means that one often finds themselves a long way from anywhere.

So, metaphorically, you are often nowhere.

This does make one wonder, (philosophical question alert!) are you ever really, truly, nowhere?  I mean, what does that even mean, anyway?

My wife and I decided to go on a quest to see if we could officially find nowhere.

We started in the middle of the suburbs in Beeton Ontario (because if there ever was a candidate for soul sucking nothingness, it's the 'burbs).

To our left was a wide open expanse of wilderness of nothing but vegetation, and a little overgrown path. Since the 'burbs, while uninteresting, contain something, and logic dictates nowhere will have nothing, we turned left towards the promising emptiness of the wilderness.

It was at this point that I paused for a selfie:
Turns out this wilderness is full of vegetation growing over very soggy land, so I spent a good amount of time sloshing thru mud, whilst wading through tall grasses with lovely thistles.   Don't get me wrong, it smelled like an adventure, but it was still a tad bit dampish in the boots department.  My wife, ever the trooper, was gracious enough to let me find a trail thru the muck before she followed.  
We eventually came across some train tracks, which was odd cause trains are typically going somewhere, and we were not. We were not hunting for any random somewhere.  We were hunting for nowhere, in particular.
Then we looked across the tracks.

There it was. Staring back at us.

Nowhere!  It was there!
We were, officially, there.  We could have (if we thought of it at the time) had this witty exchange:

"Ask me where we are!"
"You're a jerk!"

We would then mentally change "nowhere" to "now here", and smirk at our own cleverness.  (In retrospect I suspect it was best we didn't have that witty moment).

So, ironically, nowhere is a real place, and philosophers world wide are now in search of new jobs. Mission accomplished.

Have you ever been nowhere? Tell me about it in the comments below.